Cat's Out of the bag...

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It all started when I went to get back on the dating sites. Once again. Not sure why I keep doing that to myself. I apparently like self-torture. ;) #kink lol. That's when I ran into Joe. And I know that I normally don't post guys names on here and it's usually a nickname, but since I already posted his picture and name to my instagram, it doesn't make sense not to call him that. :) 

Joe and I apparently matched several years ago and had texted a few times and planned on meeting up but timing wasn't on our side. When Joe saw me back on the dating sites, he decided to be bold and go ahead and text me. He prefaced the text "I hope this isn't creepy." lol. Anyhoo, he remembered chatting with me but I don't remember chatting with him. But he had my phone number so I knew he at least made it that far in the process, and said what the heck. Sure, let's meet up. 

We met up on Father's Day (luckily I wasn't super busy that day) and we went out to a coffee shop on Alberta. He lives in deep Beaverton and I live in deep Gresham so that was pretty much half way for us. We had some pretty deep conversations on this date/meetup. We chatted for several hours which also included a walk around the neighborhood afterwards. I didn't feel immediate sparks, and I don't think he did either, but having been through enough online dating, I knew he was a good human, and it wasn't necessarily a F yes, for me at this point, but it wasn't a no either. I was intrigued by his genuineness and tbh, the F yes's for me almost always turn into F boys. My picker is definitely off, so I wanted to go outside my norm and see what Joe was all about. I told him that I'd love to see him again. He paused and hesitated and didn't answer me right away. I said, "No worries if you don't want to. Or you can think about it. No stress either way. I just want to be upfront and say what I hope for." He eventually came around, but not until we chatted later via text. lol. Playing hard to get. Apparently I liked that. :) He tells me that he definitely was interested and not sure why he blanked when I asked him that and thought for sure he answered me yes, but he definitely didn't. And actually I could tell he was a little bit nervous which was pretty cute. I like a confident guy, but also a nice guy and not a cocky guy. And he wasn't the cocky jerk that I tend to be attracted to. 

I told him since our first date was so serious that we would try to have fun only on our next date. And fun we had. He happened to be on a 16 day staycation and had some time to hang out. We normally don't have the same days off, but he had that next weekend off and available so we decided to make plans for Saturday. We started off the morning with a short hike up Powell Butte and then spent the rest of the day on the Sandy River. Now, I felt comfortable enough of letting him come to my place to get ready for the river that day. Honestly, I almost never invite a guy over and I am a home body and like to keep my life private. But I know part of being vulnerable is opening yourself up in ways that might not always be in the comfort zone. So we got ready and brought some bevies and snacks to the river and had an amazing day. All day in the sunshine just chatting, laughing, having a good time. 

At one point I took my liquid courage and I moved in closer and kissed him. I could tell he was a little shocked but the first thing he said was "I'm glad we got that out of the way and that you didn't friend zone me" lol. Which, maybe in the past I would have. He was for sure good friend material. And at this point in my life, I know the value of that, so I had to see if there was something more. And if I had waited too long I very well could have friend zoned him.

Eventually after a full day on the river we went back to my place and ordered in some Thai Food. We had more conversations and kissed a little more. It was super nice. He went home that night and the next day I got an invite to go out on my dad's pontoon boat with my step sisters and their hubbies. And I thought, I kind of want to see if Joe wants to join. I asked him to join and he did! So then we spent another full day on the river together. This time with some family. A little taste into what life could be like as my boo. We had another great day and he seemed to get on nice with the fam as well. I liked that. He was such a gentleman and kept telling me how he was "the luckiest guy in the world." Which, I admit, felt a little too much for me at times, but also, I deserve for someone to feel that way, so I tried my best to get out of my head and enjoy the compliment and the feelings and just not put any pressure on it. 

That's where I start getting into trouble. When I get in my head too much and when I feel too much pressure. Like, "what if I hurt him?" Or "what if he's love bombing me? He doesn't actually feel lucky because there's no way he could feel that way yet." etc. You get the gist. There was lots of self sabotage going on in my head. And it still creeps up a little. But the more I've gotten to know Joe, the more sincere and genuine I feel his compliments are and I have to admit, I'm starting to feel pretty lucky myself. :) 

Usually the guys I go for, is lust at first sight. It's a quick crash and burn. Either that, or they string me along for a decade lolz. But right now I've got the slow burn happening with Joe. Instead of things crashing quickly, the more we communicate and get to know one another, the closer I feel to him. It's not perfect. We are two imperfect humans figuring each other out, but what I love about Joe is that he's giving just as much effort as I am, even during conflict and that goes a LONG way. While I haven't met his family yet (he's from the Tri-cities), he's told his friends and family about me and wants to include me, which also says a lot and is super important to me. Too many times I've dated guys that only give me part of themselves but ice me out of their family, etc. I deserve to have it all. 

We've obviously had several dates since our first weekend together. From more days at the river, to playing catch (stole my heart a little on that date), to hanging in a kitty pool in his backyard on the 4th of July, we've both celebrated birthday's together now (He's a Cancer and I'm a Leo). We have even shot some hoops together and I laid down the D! he he. He is down for all the fun times. We are planning to camp together with another big chunk of my family next weekend. I'm just so excited to have someone that's down to do all the things with me. 

And we have different days off, so it's actually been kind of nice to not spend every second of free time together. I've still made times for my own friends and activities and so has he, and it's been working out really well for us. We are at a place where we're chatting on the phone almost every night now even if we don't see each other. Again though, I want to reiterate that it's not perfect. We have already had some disagreements and tiffs, and that's totally normal. But we've both been respectful in the way we handle it and genuinely want the other person to feel heard and it's been healthy growth that I have high hopes will only continue to get better the more we learn about each other. 

He does have 2 cats though, and I have one wiener dog (but always ready to get a 2nd wiener on a whim ;)). My dog wants to murder and eat cats. So, blending the family might be a bit of a challenge. And we also live an hr from each other. Sometimes more with traffic. Definitely some obstacles to work through, but worth the effort and we're just going to take them as they come. But for now, I officially have a boyfriend. His name is Joe. And I'm excited to get to know him more and see where this goes. <3 

DB