As most of you know, I posted on FB Monday that "I might have just had my last first date." Let me give you the backstory on how we met. Maybe not everyone reading this knows this about me, but my close family and friends know that I want to have babies and hubby in the near future if possible. And actually after last week, I gave myself a 2 year deadline to meet that or I was going to buy some samples, and a Turkey baster for some DIY baby makin'! And to be clear, I know I could have both of those things right now if I wanted. But I won't just do that with anybody, so that's the real struggle. Finding someone I want that with!
I've been on a 2 week break from my college courses but the first week of break I was in Disneyland and focused on my bestie's wedding that was this past weekend. Crazy fun times. Well I had a whole week of nothing to do after that, so I did a couple of things. 1. I got rid of a man in my life who I loved having in my life for the most part, but who was also toxic. We had a wonderful friendship but sometimes the lines were a little blurry on our feeling for each other. And ya know, after 8 years of doing that dance something in me just said, no more. Gotta go! Austa La Vista, baby! It felt SO good to finally let go of whatever that was. I was feeling alive and free and actually kinda bored. My schedule has been so crazy busy that I didn't know what to do with my down time.
I've had a love hate relationship with online dating. In fact, I even did a speech about it in my speech class a couple of terms ago. It's all so interesting. But I thought, what the heck. I'm just going to be super honest and put out there what I'm looking for. My plan was to meet as many people as I could this week so that the odds would be ever in my favor that maybe I would like at least one of them. But this was the week I was free so I thought it would be a good week to try for some dates! No messing around. Meet up or go home!
I made a profile on both Tinder and Bumble because those are the two sites I've had the best of luck with in the past. The problem with Bumble is that as a woman, you have to be the first to reach out. On Tinder it can be anyone. And because I'm already doing all the work on Bumble reaching out, I won't even attempt a reach out on Tinder. I think that's fair. It's most of the same pool of men on both sites anyways!
My profile had some pictures of me and my dog, and the rest with my family and me or my nieces and nephews with myself. I wanted to be super blunt in my profile so nobody had the wrong idea of what I was looking for! This is what it read in a nutshell, "I'm a huge family girl... No Kids. Never married. Want both!... Looking to meet as many people as I can this week but only if you're looking for something serious and want babies!.." I'd say I made myself pretty clear. So for most people on Tinder, they're probably going to swipe left to that because the majority is looking for a hookup.
So the guy I went on a date with Monday- his profile read, " I've got about 5 years to find an amazing woman to marry and start a family. If that fails, I'm going to have to look into a mail order bride. But seriously, if you're not looking for something similar, it's probably not going to work out." ... Three words.... HOT HOT HOT! How did he know that's EXACTLY the kind of profile I would super like if I was a creeper!? I'm willing to meet half way and have babies in 3 1/2 years instead of 5 like he wants and 2 like I want. (That's probably a lie, I don't like waiting.) lol.
Now that we have a backstory. We matched on Tinder. He messaged me Monday the morning that we matched and we had a nice decent convo. I even told him my plan to buy sperm. It didn't seem to scare him away! We talked about living out of a short bus/tiny home together and going snowshoeing in a cabin hostel in the winter and he just seemed so down for the cause and full of adventures that I would be on board with. So I was bold and said, let's meet!
That's when he started waffling around saying "well... I'm free this weekend." Brah, it's only Monday. My attention span is short enough as it is. Chances are if you wait until Tuesday I'm not going to have any clue who you are, let alone want to meet you. So if you want to wait till the weekend that's your gamble, but don't say I didn't warn you!
I pretty much said, if you want to meet tonight instead, here's my number. Call me. No pressure. He ended up calling and we met up for Drinks at Roscoes in SE. We had an amazing connection. In fact, he mentioned we matched 2 years ago when I had just moved back to Nashville and that I really left an impression on him and said, "I should have just married you two years ago." I unfortunately didn't remember him. But I have a memory like Dory. ;)
I really wanted to kiss him at the end of the night. He did too. But thought we should wait. I thought it was sweet, but actually kind of torture at the same time. I'd rather know right away if I never want to kiss you again so I don't have to waste a 2nd date! lol.
Monday date #1 at Roscoes. Score of the date: 110% -lifelong partner material
Tuesday date#2 Friend date watching swift birds at Chapman elementary school with picnic. Score of the date: 75% Which honestly is still pretty good considering how I score dates. And the reason it was such a low score is because I was specifically looking for red flags on this date. Date 1 was too good to be true. What could his flaws be? Well, it turns out he went to the SAME high school as the guy I just cut from my life that I did the blurred lines dance with for 8 years and is good friends with said dudes brother. What are the odds of that? And also, the only mutual friend we have happens to be the very last guy I sort of dated. So it kind of threw me off. The 75% isn't necessarily HIS score. But just my overall feelings after the date on how it went.
Wednesday date#3 Dinner at his grandparents house in Eugene, OR followed by snuggle sesh in a hotel with my dog. What's sweet about this date, is that I told him I was gonna be SUPER busy come monday when school starts back up and that this would be a really good week to spend some quality time with me. So he asked if I would meet him in Euguene. He had to work there Wednesday and Thursday (today) and his company was putting him up in a hotel. He told me to come on by and have dinner with him and his grandparents (who raised him) and to bring my dog and afterwards we can hang out at the hotel and watch some goofy shows and relax and cuddle. Honestly, normally there is NO way I would want to do that with someone I hardly know. But I wanted to. At least I thought I did. I was about 75% sure I wanted to since it was piggy-backing off my feelings from the 2nd date. So many awkward coincidences. But date #1 was SO good, I owed it to myself to go down there. His grandparents were so sweet and so funny and I was bantering with them all night. It felt really comfortable and really easy. It was nice. And nice to see him in a different element that he's more comfortable in. Then we went back to his hotel and watched Tru TV. That prank show with the 4 guys and just laughed our butts off and snuggled. And I got that first kiss. :) I'd say I'm back to 100% right now excited to see him again.
I don't know if he's going to be the one or not. But what I do know is that I'm thoroughly enjoying the moment that I'm in, and I really want to see him again. And the fact that he's putting in so much effort already is a really good sign. But I vow to take it one day and date at a time and not to have any expectations. Just going to go with the flow and see where it goes. Because luckily if he's not the one, I've got a date with a Turkey baster in 2 years! ;) #NoPressure
Not a picture of him... but he kinda looks like this! #lumberjack #sexy
Dallas Brown is a pop country singer song-writer livin the dream!