MY FENCE JUMP

My Fence Jump

I followed your advice and I decided to go on a 3rd date with Bro Country! It wasn't exactly how I planned it though.  We were supposed to hang out last weekend but I had the stomach flu and was just not up to it!  We didn't reschedule yet, and so I wasn't sure when I was going to see him again. 

Fast forward to New Years Eve.  I was not planning to do anything too exciting.  I got Chinese food with my family at 4pm in Troutdale for my step dad's 60th birthday. And then I went straight to a 2 year olds birthday party.  Such a rager. ;) lol. They offered me drinks there, but I was planning on driving home in a couple of hours to snuggle up to my ween for my new years kiss (preferrably at east cost new years time... old lady alert.) 

Well, one thing led to another and the people wanted answers.  They kept asking about bro county and if I was going to see him again.  I debated.  Every single person was on board to have me see him again and convinced me that texting him tonight was the right idea. lol.  What was I getting myself into?  They kept telling me how hot he was, and that I should get my new years kiss.  Now, I had granny panties on tonight and was not prepared for any kind of action down there, so no funny business was going to be happening. ha ha.  But, I didn't see the harm in getting a new years kiss/make out session.  

My friends at the 2 year olds birthday party were coaching me on what to text him.  I guess, this was the most exciting thing that was probably going to happen at that party, so I get their interest. lol. It started with a winky face gif.  He told me he was driving for lyft tonight and I teased that I needed a lift. ;) All through the help of my peers of course.  A friend came up with a great one.  To send the text that we should play ride roulette.  If he gets a ride close to where I'm at, then he can come pick me up! Genius!  And obviously would likely never work, so if he didn't show up at a reasonable hour, then he really didn't want to see me.  Bro Country was down!  Sweet!  

Well shit.  Now, I'm at a 2 year old's birthday party, with my granny panties on, about to have a hot date.  I need to do something fast! My bestie, the 2 year olds mom quickly grabs me a tiny bottle (shot) of  fireball.  Because you know, us old folks don't actually buy bottles of booze anymore ha ha. And then she gave me two white claws to down.  Everyone was cheering me on, waiting for the next text from Bro Country to come in.  And I was double fisting it trying to catch up to the level I was at with my text messages. Cause at this point, I think Bro Country is hot, no obvious red flags, good conversation, but the fuego isn't totally there. Alcohol should help. 

About an hr later he texts sayin he's about 15 minutes out.  At this point, it's almost east coast new years.  I ask for one more white claw and when Bro Country arrived we had 5 minutes for the countdown.  I invited him in so my friends could size him up and to see how he does under pressure.  Not to my surprise, he was a gentleman and did great! We all counted down the new years together and then we took off. 

The plan was to have Bro Country just drop me off at home, but I told him we'd have a nice new years kiss.  But in the middle of my drunken  debacle a gf texted that they were out at another bar, and I was already buzzed so that sounded super fun.  When I told Bro Country he could drop me off there instead and/or was welcome to join me he quickly nixed that.  Said he thought we could grab a bottle of wine and watch a movie.  At this point, I forgot about my granny panties and agreed that was the best call! 

We got to his place and coincidentally his roommates were out of town.  We put on the movie Bad Grandpa, and laughed and cuddled and things heated up pretty quickly.  He was really trying to get in my pants lol... and I was trying to do everything I could to avoid the "situation" (granny panties, not groomed, etc.) I told him I was down to make out, but not down to get down. The things we say.  So we started making out hard core.  Which was super fun.  He takes me to bed with him and he's trying again and I blurt out, that it won't work because I've been watching too much porn lately anyway.  lol.  Did I really just say that? ha ha. I mean, desperate times call for desperate measures.  You gotta do what you gotta do! 

Pretty sure I said a lot of things that could keep me held accountable in court of law that night lol.  But, I do remember a moment where he was really pressuring me to please him, and I just drunkenly blurted out, "I'd rather keep my free will, thanks." I think that threw him off... and must have been what ended the drunken make out.  I mean, I was proud of myself for saying that.  Sometimes when I'm in situations like that, and not into it, it can feel like pleasing someone else is the easier thing to do than to speak up.  But I spoke up.  And then I passed out. 

I woke up around 8am with Bro Country next to me snoring.  His pillows were awful and my neck hurt. And turns out, alcohol and mixing alcohol makes you have to take a really bad shit in the morning.  I contemplated what to do.  His bathroom was literally RIGHT next to his bedroom.  And you can hear everything from there. Last thing I wanted to do was leave a grumpy my first time over.  And not just any grumpy...  BAD grumpy. (Get it?  Bad Grandmpa?  Bad Grumpy? lol. #dadjokes)

So, I got dressed, and ordered the fasted lyft ride.  I contemplated waking him up and asking for a ride, but then he could have wanted breakfast or something and I really just needed to get to my home thrown.  It was time to take the browns to the superbowl.  Drop the kids off at the pool. I couldn't risk it. 

My lyft was about 6 minutes out.  I snuck back into Bro Country's room, morning after awkardness surging through my body and finally to my fingertips where I gently tapped Bro Country.  "I'm going to take off."  in a hazy state he did ask if I wanted a ride, but I told him I already got a lyft.  Gave him a quick peck on the mouth, and walked out the door. 

Now, to figure out where the hell I was. lol.  Somewhere in Vancouver.  Finally, I get a phone call and it's the lyft driver.  He was at the roundabout but couldn't get through the gate.  THE GATE!  Shoot!  I have no idea what the code is!  I walk over to the gate and I see my driver.  He rolls down his window.  In panic, I tell him I have no idea how to get out.  The fence is high, and I was preparing to shamefully hop the fence as this innocent bystander watches my walk of shame struggle lol.  I ended up able to push the gate as hard as I could, just enough to squeeze my body through.  damn.  This is straight out of a movie scene.  I'm dying laughing at myself inside and wondering when this driver is going to tell this story to someone else. smh. 

I ended up making it home, just in time for my friend to pick me up for a hike at the coast.  Every year we do this.  We make plans to hike new years day, regretting our decisions hung over.  But we always pull through... alas, it WAS a great day! 

Bro Country and I texted back and forth a bit throughout the day.  Nothing mind shattering, which seems to be our theme.  He's leaving in 6 months.  We're  not quite on the same page of what we're looking for, so we decide to end things romantically.  It's the right move.  BUT, I will say, I'm so glad that I decided to get a little wild for NYE.  I'm proud of myself for continually putting myself out there, because you just never know when you will actually meet someone that just clicks.  Until then, the adventure continues! <3 

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