Well you will be glad (or not) to know that I DID hear from Silver Fox. He texted me somewhere a few days later saying he missed me and that "we need to make some plans babe." This was after he saw that I posted a video of me singing a song suggesting I wasn't sure where we were at. lol. He literally liked my post and texted me a second after. #GotHim lol Sometimes you just have to Taylor Swift someone for them to get it. ;)
So we made plans for Saturday and Sunday of last week. Friday night I texted to confirm plans and he was in shock about our plans for Saturday and had made plans to go to the beach instead. I pretty much let him know that that was super disrespectful to not value my time and that I wake up early or stay up later getting the things I need to get done in a day in order to make time to see him, so when he cancels plans that is complete disrespect. And I do it not because I have to but because I want to. His explanation that was in his mind when he said we should hang Saturday and Sunday he thought that meant one or the other. Which btw, it doesn't. lol. But in any case I decided to make plans for Sunday with someone else because I wasn't being shown the respect that I deserved. I made a 2nd date with the guy I'd seen the week before. The one that was a film maker that I had a connection with but was still deciding my attraction level on.
I let Silver Fox know that I'd made plans for Sunday already and that if he wanted to see me at all that day he would have to see me between kickball and my evening plans (which happened to be another date). I had about a 3 hr window where he could see me. So, to my surprise he jumped on it. He called me right when I was done with kickball (yes he actually picked up the phone!) and asked to meet me. So he met me at the bar where the teams were celebrating the sunny day! I had my wiener, Harri with me. And then after we had a drink at that bar we went to visit my Aunt at her bar and that was super fun. Then him, me and my Aunt went to a dive bar to watch some live music. The funny part was, I was still wearing my knee pads from kickball. I was dirty and sweaty, and didn't care that I was going to be arriving to my 2nd date with the other dude like that. I wanted to be in that moment with Silver Fox for as long as I could. The way he'd touch my back. Or randomly kiss me. Seriously it's all the things that I hope for from a partner in the physical touch regard. It's not too much. But just enough to keep you wanting more. Which made me so mad at myself for enjoying it because I was supposed to be mad at him. But he just has a way with me when I see him in person. It's not fair really. ;)
Fast forward to my date with the other guy that night. It was okay. I mean, I enjoyed the live music that I saw with him. And was having a nice time. But didn't think too much of it. He asked if I wanted to go back to his place to watch a documentary. And it was early enough so I decided to join for a bit, with every intention of going home afterwards. And to be honest, I had been drinking with Silver Fox all day. Drank at my Kickball game before that. And went to a Scentsy party that morning and had mimosas. So by the time I was at this dudes house I was pretty toasted. He went in for the kiss and it was just super awkward. I remember thinking to myself as he's kissing me, "How do I get out of this?" And as I'm thinking that the next thing I know is this guy grabs me and lifts me on top of him. Almost IMMEDIETLY I get off him and ask him to cool it. He does. And I fall asleep. Next thing I remember is being carried to his bed. Literally I'm so exhausted from the long day and with the alcohol I'm not really as coherent as I'd like to be and he carries me to his bed and lifts me on top of him again and starts trying to make out with me. Like dude, I already told you no. And you're doing it again. Like he just didn't get the hint. I finally came to and got myself the F out of there and went home. It was so awkward and uncomfortable and he had no idea.
Which brings me to another topic that is kind of a hot button issue right now. The Aziz Azari thing. Or however you spell his name. I'm sure you've read the article about the girl who was sexually assaulted by him. And he had no idea. Some people agree and some people disagree. But it struck a hard chord with me because I literally was just in her shoes and I thought you know what? Instead of being part of the problem and not letting a guy know verbally that he was in the wrong I'm going to go ahead and let him know that I was uncomfortable with the way he was coming on to me especially after asking him to cool it. Wanna know what his response was, "I can't read minds." Well yeah, that's why in the moment I told you. Ya know? If someone is even the slightest bit hesitant. Take THAT as your answer. You never want to have a sexual encounter with someone that you're not really sure if they're into it or not. Don't assume that because you're into it that they are too. And that's the take away. For me, I need to be more vocal in the moment about it instead of trying to be nice (which btw women have been conditioned to do and it's not easy breaking that.). But no more. I'm speaking up even if the guy doesn't want to hear it and you should too. And guys, please listen. He had actually texted me the next morning something flirty like the night before wasn't super awkward. And to his defense, he WAS apologetic when I first told him. But when I didn't agree to have another date with him is when he got salty and told me he wasn't a mind reader. Don't be that guy.
Back to Silver Fox. Who has never ONCE made me feel uncomfortable or pushed me into something he wasn't sure we were both into. So yes, it's possible for men to behave well. This slimy guy from the night before was making Silver Fox look pretty shiny! And when Silver Fox invited me to his house the next night to watch the Bachelor and made me vegetarian enchiladas he was now my knight in shining armor and didn't even know it. Such a breath of fresh air. And we watched a WAY better movie this time. Well actually it had some dirty humor but I thought it was hilarious. Bad Grandpa or something. With Robert Dinero and Zac Effron. Hilar! And he asked me to spend the night and I was more than happy to. Felt good. We had a lovely evening, and even lovelier morning and no boundaries were pushed too far. Like, Men- take notes!
As you can imagine, this whole Silver Fox thing was leaving me feeling so confused. I have this great man right in front of me, that just is confusing the hell out of me. Does he like me? Maybe he really likes me? Or wait, he's showing signs of being not that into me. But then goes ahead and makes me dinner and treats me right and then I'm left wondering how I could think he wasn't into me. So many conflicting signals! He sucks at communication when we don't see each other, which is probably working to his advantage in a total F'd up way. It's literally making me crazy not getting a good read on him. And probably making me like him more. Ugh. lol.
So I just might as well ask him what is up, "cause I'm tired of asking myself. Are we just a backseat tryin' to get it while we can? Are we names in a tattoo or just a number on a hand? Are last call kissin or will we be reminiscin' with each other for the next 40 years? Are we written in the stars baby? Or are we written in the sand?" Old Dominion. Great song. And SO relevant for me right now!
Tuesday-Thursday go by and we don't see each other but there's a TINY more communication in between lol. SO I see him Friday night. He really wants to see me but I literally have zero time that week. Which totally sucked. But I want him to know that I am going to value his time and make the effort because that's important to let someone know you're making the effort. We're all busy, but we can make time for those that we want to see. Period. Plan was to see him after class Friday but I got a wrench thrown in the plans. My teacher gave me an assignment due the next morning at 9am. I called him (yes, I picked up the phone too) and let him know I was going to have to do my homework that night. But that even if I only saw him for an hour I was going to finish and make it happen because he was worth it to me. So that's what I did. I saw him. We met at a Harri friendly pub and had a beer together. And I just straight out asked him, "what are your intentions with me?' I think I caught him a little off guard with the question but I didn't care. I wanted to know, and the only way I was gonna know was to ask him.
He got a little squirmy but then went on to tell me that he would love to date me exclusively and that he hopes that I want that too. And turns out I do. :) He was also super cute and told me that when he went beer tasting with me and my family that he went back to his favorite brewery and when they asked him who he was with it was natural for him to say his gf and her family. Even though technically wasn't his gf. And I don't think being exclusive means that I am either right? Eek. lol. It just means that we're dating each other only now in hopes that it can get there? Am I right? No, really... is that correct? lol. Or am I going to be out with him next week and him introducing me as his gf? I didn't really think that one through. I was just thinking exclusive. But, I guess I'll find out like I did when we went on our first date and I didn't know it until he blurted it out loud to the band. ha ha.
He also mentioned that night that since he'd met some of my family it would be nice for me to meet some of his. I thought that was cute. And he actually said that even before I asked him what his intentions were. :) Things seem to be moving in a positive direction for me and this handsome Silver Fox. And I'm not mad about it! But I won't lie... his lack of texting communications skills is about to drive this old lady insane! So we still need to sort that out. But we had a lovely lunch today and I'm going to his house tomorrow night for the Bachelor again where he's making me baked beets! And then Tuesday we're going to hike Forest Park together with Harri. So I'm happy to say that things are going well for this Bumble Bee and that I am no longer on Bumble. And I can't say where it's going to go or if his texting is going to get better or not. (I hope so!) But I'm very much willing to put in the effort to find out. So now that Silver Fox and I have decided to be exclusive this dating blog probably won't be as entertaining (or much appropriate either)... Which means I'll be signing off. But hopefully I can find something just as entertaining to blog about so you don't miss me too much! ;) Kisses! Thanks for joining me on this crazy dating journey! And also, I hope more than anything it's been motivating for some of you to put yourselves out there cause you never know when a silver fox might surprise you! <3
Dallas Brown is a pop country singer song-writer livin the dream!